I’ve seen many mysterious (or well, you can call it weird) couple in my 19 years life. One of them was my parents. Why were they included? Well, because my dad was a teacher when he fell in love with his student which happened to be my mother. Of course they suffered a big deal of problems. But in the end, LOVE concurs all ika nga nila... not just that, but there were also things such as opposites attracts, like the beauties falling for the uglies, the rich falling for the poor, the smart falling for the dumb.
I used to ask my mom why this happens and she would always say “Ganyan talaga ang pag ibig anak. You can never know who you fall in love with. Para syang magic, isang wagayway lang ng magic wand BAM! In love ka na sa isang lalake na ma-aaring kilala mo which feelings develop through knowing each other or lalaking first time mo na meet na ang tawag ay love at first sight. It just moves in a mysterious ways you know?” and she would always laugh at the end of her explanation.
At that time, every time my mom explains it, I just stare at her and think "she's gone mad", because I did not understand her one bit. Whenever I’m not satisfied, which bothers me so much, I would ask other people around even my classmates, “why?” Then they would always give me a funny look and try to explain to me why even though they're having a hard time.
*sigh* now that I think back, the reason why I always ask this question was because of my (now current) boyfriend, Iyen Fred Mendoza A.K.A yen who happens to be GAY (as in HOMOSEXUAL) at the time. That time, I was slowly realizing my feelings for him. Only after everything is over I finally understood my mother's words...
---
"No way!!!! you're kidding right????" I got up from my study sit and quickly stood in front of my big mirror. I slapped my face two times and then pointed at my reflection in the mirror with cheeks still flushed from the slap. "YOU! YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM!" I shouted angrily while pointing at my reflection "You can't be Mich! no! fall in love with other guys or a girl but not him! comm'on! you know he's a homo! and he even have a boyfriend!"
I stared at my face again, which was super red, then I went to the bed and lay down while hitting the pillow and saying "You caaan't!!! no no no no!!!" I stopped for a moment "b-but? what was that heart beating things yesterday?" the question in my mind took me back to the where I finally realized my feelings.
KRISHA'S 18 B-DAY
"all right! hahahahaha! Michi! it's your turn nanaman! lagot ka saamin ngayon! kanina ka pa bigay ng bigay ng mga dangerous dares. now it'll be our turn to make you mad." said Max.
"yeah! that dare you gave me was really embarrassing you know!" Mia pouted.
"hey hey! don't you bully my best friend now. It's a game what do you expect!" said Iyen while putting a hand in my shoulder.
"yeah! yeah! you haven't even asked me if I want truth or dare!" I laughingly said.
"ok ok, fine what do you want truth or dare?" Krisha gave me a look that say 'please say dare'.
But since I was a bitch I shouted "TRUTH!" and then I laughed like an evil witch.
every body, except for Iyen who was laughing hysterically, groaned. "that's just like you Mich! spoiling their fun"
"Michi you're such a coward" said Max angrily.
"wait wait, even she said Truth doesn't mean we can't torture her like she tortured us" Krisha gave me a look that basically says 'got you now'
"yeah! well, you have to tell us the truth ok! you cannot tell a lie!" shouted Mia.
"bring it on folks. I don't have any secrets hahahaha"
the three of them looked at me angrily while the people around us laughed as well as Iyen "Ok I'll ask the first question" volunteered Krisha "you and Elizabeth went out for a few years right?" I nodded "did you ever had a sexual intercourse with her?" Krisha smirked.
I was a little bit shocked with the question since it's something very personal. But I wasn't really a person who's bothered by that. I gave a big grin "well what do you think? do you think nothing will happen in that 3 years? I'm not that weak you know. you can try if you want" I said then I laughed.
Krisha's face was really angry, she gave me glare "HMMP! LESBIAN!"
Iyen made a face "gee never expect to hear that! not really fun of seeing my best friend act that way. ok! let's turn the bottle again!"
Max turned the bottle while of us chanting "stop, stop, stop, stop!"
after awhile the bottle stopped. But this time the head pointed at Iyen. Every body laughed "now it's your turn Iyen! Michi! give him a dare!" shouted Mia
"nope! I'll pass! I'm not going to give my beloved best friend a trouble" i said while raising my left hand.
"HEY THAT IS SO UNFAIR!" shouted Max.
I just laughed "ok fine! i'll give him the dare" said Krisha. "but first, what do you want yen? Truth or dare?" she asked.
"well i certainly don't want any of you to know about me or my boyfriend, so dare"
"ok then, you have to give Michi a French kiss"
all of the people in the room, including me and Iyen stopped laughing and stared shockingly at Krisha. "ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?" both me and Iyen shouted.
"yeah, of course I am" she said while grinning. then ever body started chanting "KISS! KISS! KISS!"
"hey! that is not fair for me! I don't want to do that! that's so disgusting!" I shouted angrily.
"yeah! huh? wait Mich. what do you mean disgusting?" he asked annoyed.
"i mean your gay, and I'm a lesbian. that's too weird! don't you think it's disgusting?" i said making a digusted face. I stared at Iyen's face, and he looked totally annoyed.
"we don't care!!! kiss kiss kiss kiss!" chanted every body.
"NO WA-" before i knew it, Iyen's mouth was on mine. "umhhpp!" I was so shocked that I only stared at Iyen's closed eyes.
After a long one minute kiss (which feels like five minutes), Iyen finaly let go of me. He wipe his lips using the back of his hand "there, that's for saying it's disgusting. My boyfriends go after my kisses but you don't so that's your punishment" he said.
I stared at him bewildered. I didn't even get to hear what every one said. then suddenly I passed out.
The next morning, I found my self Lying in Iyen's bed. I got up directly and went out slowly. I found him sleeping in the couch. I walk as quietly as I could so i wouldn't wake him up. once I got out of his apartment, i stood in front of his door and put my hand where my heart is "what the- why the hell is this thing beating so quickly again? I haven't felt this since the day I comforted Iyen. what the... hey! it hurts! stop beating!" I scolded as if my heart would listen to me like a human. after that I ran away until I got into my house. since then, I avoided Iyen. because every time I see his face, my heart would hurt and it would beat like crazy!
---
"ow da*mn. so that's the reason for my weird behavior?" I got up again. then stood again in front of the mirror. "ow sh*t Mich, you are in so much trouble.... You're in love with your best friend, Iyen Alfred Mindoza, who happens to be gay. Your dead... you are going to be dead!" i said talking to my reflection "arrrrggghhhh! what in the world am i going to doooo?!"
I used to ask my mom why this happens and she would always say “Ganyan talaga ang pag ibig anak. You can never know who you fall in love with. Para syang magic, isang wagayway lang ng magic wand BAM! In love ka na sa isang lalake na ma-aaring kilala mo which feelings develop through knowing each other or lalaking first time mo na meet na ang tawag ay love at first sight. It just moves in a mysterious ways you know?” and she would always laugh at the end of her explanation.
At that time, every time my mom explains it, I just stare at her and think "she's gone mad", because I did not understand her one bit. Whenever I’m not satisfied, which bothers me so much, I would ask other people around even my classmates, “why?” Then they would always give me a funny look and try to explain to me why even though they're having a hard time.
*sigh* now that I think back, the reason why I always ask this question was because of my (now current) boyfriend, Iyen Fred Mendoza A.K.A yen who happens to be GAY (as in HOMOSEXUAL) at the time. That time, I was slowly realizing my feelings for him. Only after everything is over I finally understood my mother's words...
---
"No way!!!! you're kidding right????" I got up from my study sit and quickly stood in front of my big mirror. I slapped my face two times and then pointed at my reflection in the mirror with cheeks still flushed from the slap. "YOU! YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM!" I shouted angrily while pointing at my reflection "You can't be Mich! no! fall in love with other guys or a girl but not him! comm'on! you know he's a homo! and he even have a boyfriend!"
I stared at my face again, which was super red, then I went to the bed and lay down while hitting the pillow and saying "You caaan't!!! no no no no!!!" I stopped for a moment "b-but? what was that heart beating things yesterday?" the question in my mind took me back to the where I finally realized my feelings.
KRISHA'S 18 B-DAY
"all right! hahahahaha! Michi! it's your turn nanaman! lagot ka saamin ngayon! kanina ka pa bigay ng bigay ng mga dangerous dares. now it'll be our turn to make you mad." said Max.
"yeah! that dare you gave me was really embarrassing you know!" Mia pouted.
"hey hey! don't you bully my best friend now. It's a game what do you expect!" said Iyen while putting a hand in my shoulder.
"yeah! yeah! you haven't even asked me if I want truth or dare!" I laughingly said.
"ok ok, fine what do you want truth or dare?" Krisha gave me a look that say 'please say dare'.
But since I was a bitch I shouted "TRUTH!" and then I laughed like an evil witch.
every body, except for Iyen who was laughing hysterically, groaned. "that's just like you Mich! spoiling their fun"
"Michi you're such a coward" said Max angrily.
"wait wait, even she said Truth doesn't mean we can't torture her like she tortured us" Krisha gave me a look that basically says 'got you now'
"yeah! well, you have to tell us the truth ok! you cannot tell a lie!" shouted Mia.
"bring it on folks. I don't have any secrets hahahaha"
the three of them looked at me angrily while the people around us laughed as well as Iyen "Ok I'll ask the first question" volunteered Krisha "you and Elizabeth went out for a few years right?" I nodded "did you ever had a sexual intercourse with her?" Krisha smirked.
I was a little bit shocked with the question since it's something very personal. But I wasn't really a person who's bothered by that. I gave a big grin "well what do you think? do you think nothing will happen in that 3 years? I'm not that weak you know. you can try if you want" I said then I laughed.
Krisha's face was really angry, she gave me glare "HMMP! LESBIAN!"
Iyen made a face "gee never expect to hear that! not really fun of seeing my best friend act that way. ok! let's turn the bottle again!"
Max turned the bottle while of us chanting "stop, stop, stop, stop!"
after awhile the bottle stopped. But this time the head pointed at Iyen. Every body laughed "now it's your turn Iyen! Michi! give him a dare!" shouted Mia
"nope! I'll pass! I'm not going to give my beloved best friend a trouble" i said while raising my left hand.
"HEY THAT IS SO UNFAIR!" shouted Max.
I just laughed "ok fine! i'll give him the dare" said Krisha. "but first, what do you want yen? Truth or dare?" she asked.
"well i certainly don't want any of you to know about me or my boyfriend, so dare"
"ok then, you have to give Michi a French kiss"
all of the people in the room, including me and Iyen stopped laughing and stared shockingly at Krisha. "ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?" both me and Iyen shouted.
"yeah, of course I am" she said while grinning. then ever body started chanting "KISS! KISS! KISS!"
"hey! that is not fair for me! I don't want to do that! that's so disgusting!" I shouted angrily.
"yeah! huh? wait Mich. what do you mean disgusting?" he asked annoyed.
"i mean your gay, and I'm a lesbian. that's too weird! don't you think it's disgusting?" i said making a digusted face. I stared at Iyen's face, and he looked totally annoyed.
"we don't care!!! kiss kiss kiss kiss!" chanted every body.
"NO WA-" before i knew it, Iyen's mouth was on mine. "umhhpp!" I was so shocked that I only stared at Iyen's closed eyes.
After a long one minute kiss (which feels like five minutes), Iyen finaly let go of me. He wipe his lips using the back of his hand "there, that's for saying it's disgusting. My boyfriends go after my kisses but you don't so that's your punishment" he said.
I stared at him bewildered. I didn't even get to hear what every one said. then suddenly I passed out.
The next morning, I found my self Lying in Iyen's bed. I got up directly and went out slowly. I found him sleeping in the couch. I walk as quietly as I could so i wouldn't wake him up. once I got out of his apartment, i stood in front of his door and put my hand where my heart is "what the- why the hell is this thing beating so quickly again? I haven't felt this since the day I comforted Iyen. what the... hey! it hurts! stop beating!" I scolded as if my heart would listen to me like a human. after that I ran away until I got into my house. since then, I avoided Iyen. because every time I see his face, my heart would hurt and it would beat like crazy!
---
"ow da*mn. so that's the reason for my weird behavior?" I got up again. then stood again in front of the mirror. "ow sh*t Mich, you are in so much trouble.... You're in love with your best friend, Iyen Alfred Mindoza, who happens to be gay. Your dead... you are going to be dead!" i said talking to my reflection "arrrrggghhhh! what in the world am i going to doooo?!"
---
"no! definitely not! i refuse to call you Michi! Michi is a guy's name. But your a GIRL Mich. so i will not call you Michi"
"why so?! gee Yen! you are such a gay guy! your spoiling everything!" i shouted angrily. i walked away from Iyen but after three steps forward, i couldn't help my self but check on him. he was standing beside the swing with face that looks like he's going to cry. "arrgh!" i shouted in frustration before going back and pulled him with me.
"let go of me Mich! it hurt! let go!" he pleaded angrily but i ignored him.
i stopped in the middle of our walk and i held his hand more tightly "ALRIGHT! I'LL LET YOU CALL ME MICH" he looked straight at me. slowly slowly, his face glowed from the news "but i will also refuse to call you Yen.because Yen is a girl's name. Iyen is a guy's name. and you're a guy.so i will call you Iyen is that clear?"
he smiled "yes!"
i blushed "gee you are such a gay"
he punch me on my shoulder "i'm not gay!" he shouted angrily.
i glared at him "YES YOU ARE! IYEN'S GAAAA~Y IYEN'S GAAAA~Y"
"I am not gay! YOU- YOU LEBIAN!"
"watdayah say?! you gaybo!"
that day, we had our biggest fight in the history. both of us suffered from the aching bruises and scratches that the two of us got from our fight. after a few years, when the both of us turned ten years old, we both realized that we're attracted to people in the same sex. but we didn't reveal any of it until we turned fifteen where Iyen dare to date Christian (our classmate) and I with Elizabeth. although, i do love Elizabeth there's still some part of me which says I'm not right for her, which was the reason of our break up.
After so many years of discovering that I'm a lesbian, why am i falling for a guy? does that mean I'm straight? "arrrrgggh!!!!!" i shouted frustratingly " this is soooo confusing!!!!!!"
"Michina Ghale Chua! come down here this instance and stop shouting like a mad woman!" shouted my sister.
"aarrgghhh! Jie(older sister)! Tíngzhǐ jiào wǒ zhège míngzì (stop calling me that name)! My name's Mitchi you know!" i shouted angrily while going down from the stairs.
"what ever. it's still you so what's the point?" she said staring at me as i watched her pack the sticky rice that she cooked.
"some one ordered from you?" i asked.
"why so?! gee Yen! you are such a gay guy! your spoiling everything!" i shouted angrily. i walked away from Iyen but after three steps forward, i couldn't help my self but check on him. he was standing beside the swing with face that looks like he's going to cry. "arrgh!" i shouted in frustration before going back and pulled him with me.
"let go of me Mich! it hurt! let go!" he pleaded angrily but i ignored him.
i stopped in the middle of our walk and i held his hand more tightly "ALRIGHT! I'LL LET YOU CALL ME MICH" he looked straight at me. slowly slowly, his face glowed from the news "but i will also refuse to call you Yen.because Yen is a girl's name. Iyen is a guy's name. and you're a guy.so i will call you Iyen is that clear?"
he smiled "yes!"
i blushed "gee you are such a gay"
he punch me on my shoulder "i'm not gay!" he shouted angrily.
i glared at him "YES YOU ARE! IYEN'S GAAAA~Y IYEN'S GAAAA~Y"
"I am not gay! YOU- YOU LEBIAN!"
"watdayah say?! you gaybo!"
that day, we had our biggest fight in the history. both of us suffered from the aching bruises and scratches that the two of us got from our fight. after a few years, when the both of us turned ten years old, we both realized that we're attracted to people in the same sex. but we didn't reveal any of it until we turned fifteen where Iyen dare to date Christian (our classmate) and I with Elizabeth. although, i do love Elizabeth there's still some part of me which says I'm not right for her, which was the reason of our break up.
After so many years of discovering that I'm a lesbian, why am i falling for a guy? does that mean I'm straight? "arrrrgggh!!!!!" i shouted frustratingly " this is soooo confusing!!!!!!"
"Michina Ghale Chua! come down here this instance and stop shouting like a mad woman!" shouted my sister.
"aarrgghhh! Jie(older sister)! Tíngzhǐ jiào wǒ zhège míngzì (stop calling me that name)! My name's Mitchi you know!" i shouted angrily while going down from the stairs.
"what ever. it's still you so what's the point?" she said staring at me as i watched her pack the sticky rice that she cooked.
"some one ordered from you?" i asked.
She gave me a fake smile "ow no one ordered from me" she said sarcastically "obvious ba? bakit naman ako mang babalot ng kakanin kung walang mag order?" she annoyingly gave me the bag "here. deliver it for me"
"why do i have to? it's your business so you should do it!" i gave her back the bag.
"you're not doing anything but shout in you room like a fēng nǚrén( mad woman) so make your self useful!"
"haiiizt!" i walked towards the door angrily and sat down in the door step to put on my shoes. "where am i going to deliver this?!" i shouted angrily.
"to Mrs. Mindoza! she said to deliver it to their house!"
i got up directly and run towards the kitchen where my sister is "no! you deliver it after all Jie. No way i'm going to deliver it! no way!"
"what do you mean no way. stop complaining and deliver it now."
"no way sis. please I'll do something else not this?" i pleadingly said.
"deliver it"
"no"
"deliver it"
"no"
"ok fine. i won't give your allowance for next week and i'll tell mom and dad that you're lesbian and then you had a party while they're gone and then-"
"oh my darling Jie jie. i'll be on my way now. so please take care of your self in the house!"
i waved her goodbye and went out the house completely. "aarrrggghhh! that bit*h! arrrggghhh!!!! how am i to face Iyen?! oh my god!!!!! arrrggghhh!!! WHAT EVER!!!!" i shouted. i didn't even care if other people around me was giving me an 'ow-my-she's-gone-mad-look'.
---"why do i have to? it's your business so you should do it!" i gave her back the bag.
"you're not doing anything but shout in you room like a fēng nǚrén( mad woman) so make your self useful!"
"haiiizt!" i walked towards the door angrily and sat down in the door step to put on my shoes. "where am i going to deliver this?!" i shouted angrily.
"to Mrs. Mindoza! she said to deliver it to their house!"
i got up directly and run towards the kitchen where my sister is "no! you deliver it after all Jie. No way i'm going to deliver it! no way!"
"what do you mean no way. stop complaining and deliver it now."
"no way sis. please I'll do something else not this?" i pleadingly said.
"deliver it"
"no"
"deliver it"
"no"
"ok fine. i won't give your allowance for next week and i'll tell mom and dad that you're lesbian and then you had a party while they're gone and then-"
"oh my darling Jie jie. i'll be on my way now. so please take care of your self in the house!"
i waved her goodbye and went out the house completely. "aarrrggghhh! that bit*h! arrrggghhh!!!! how am i to face Iyen?! oh my god!!!!! arrrggghhh!!! WHAT EVER!!!!" i shouted. i didn't even care if other people around me was giving me an 'ow-my-she's-gone-mad-look'.
The day i first met him i thought 'what a weak person'. But his cute crying face made my young heart flutter and my cheeks turn red. that day, i felt my heart thump for him. but what can a six years old kid understand? so i didn't pay attention. seeing him cry made me want to protect him. thus i became his avenger whenever some one bullies him.
13 years ago
(five yrs old Michina [holding a Dorothy the dinosaur stuffed toy on her left hand, while singing the wiggles song and skipping] )
"D-O-R-O-T-H-Y! Dohti the dinosar. Rumpa pa chomp EY!Rompa pa cho-" i stopped singing as i heard some one crying. i looked around to find who it was, but i couldn't find any one. i stood there stiffly unable to move. if there was anything i'm afraid of, it'll be ghost. "m-mommy..." i called out, scared to death. the sun was nearly setting out, so the place was a bit dark. i sat on the sand pit and then hugged my Dorothy the dinosaur toy. "Dohti, bāngzhù wǒ, shǐ guàiwù xiāoshī (help me, make the monster go away)" i pleaded in verge of tears. i heard the rustle of the sand which made me more nervous so i shouted "waaah! no! momo! don't eat me! not yummy!" i shouted on top of my lungs.
"sino yan!"
"nooooooooo! no eating!!!!! noooooo" i was too suprised as some one tapped on my shoulders "noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!"
"SHUT UP!"
i stopped shouting and looked up. in front of me was a cute boy standing whose face full of tears and snot on the nose "who you?!" i asked angrily.
"i was sitting inside the sliding shoes. your noity(noisy) so came to tell you off!" he said angrily.
i stared at him again then i talked to my stuffed toy "ne, ne, Dohti, is he the one mom tot me? crazy drunken?" i asked as if my toy could talk back to me.
the boy sat down in front of me then hold up his two feet against his chest "sniff, sniff, sniff" then suddenly he cried quietly.
"why you crying?" i asked.
"sniff, they won't let me play, sniff" he said between his cries.
"they?"
"the kids,sniff, Miko an them. cuz, sniff, they said my face looks like girl an, sniff, an i act like a girl."
i stood up and put my hands on my waist " act lik'a man!" i shouted at him as he looked up at me. "uncle Toti said, if some one makes you cry or tell you something bad you have to punch them! cuz if you don't you'll be gay." i said proudly at my uncles advice without knowing it was a bad advice for a kid (i think he was the reason why i became boyish).
he made a face like he was gonna cry again "b-but i don't wan a fight. waaaaah!"
i held my head like an adult having a headache because of her or his problematic child. i sat down beside him and pat his head "yoshi, yoshi. stop crying. what's your name?"
"sniff, I- Iyen"
"my name is Michina Ghale Chua, i'm five years ol, i love wiggoes, and Dohti is my favorite an, an i can't write my name" i said in one breath as if introducing my self in a child fashion show.
"Michina?" he asked me with a cute face.
"yup!" i said proudly (with out realizing i would come to hate my name when i grow up)
"weird" then he laugh.
i hit his head in annoyance. "don't laugh at my name! papa said my name is an honor of my country, china." i said proudly again as i stood up as if making a wonderful speech.
Iyen tugged at my skirt two times then he looked at me, "am - am i weird cuz i look like girl?" he asked with that ow so cute face of his.
my face became totally red and my heart race "of course not! your cute! they're just jealous of you! from now on, I MICHINA GHALE CHUA OF CHINA, and Dohti will protect you!" i said.
Iyen stared at me with admiration while clapping his hands.
PRESENT
Now that i think about it, i suffered a great deal of beatings because of protecting him. since then we became inseparable to the point that other people thought we're married. that was, until we finally went out of the closet about our true selves which shocked most of our friends.
In order to get to the place where i thought Iyen would be, i ran like a mad women. i stopped as i finally set my foot in the place where we first met, first fought our biggest battle and first told our biggest secret. there he was sitting on the sand pit like a lost little child drawing a map on the sand using a stick.
"Iyen" i called out.
he looked up at me surprise at first but his face crumpled after "hmmp!"
i sighed. 'he is angry'. i walked closer and sat down beside him. the sand noise because of Iyen's drawing filled the air. we were so quite i felt suffocated. i sighed again. i knew he wouldn't talk unless i talk first whenever his angry. "I'm sorry". he still didn't talk. "com'on Iyen. i said I'm sorry."
"why? why do you avoid me suddenly like i have a deadly disease? did i do something that would make you hate me? i can't remember anything that i did wrong! so tell me why?"
you see, Iyen's a kind of guy who cries easily like a girl. that's why he's a homo.
i took out my handkerchief and wiped his tears "no. it was all my fault. i'm sorry. i guess i couldn't deny the fact that I DID avoided you. but there's a reason for that."
"what reason?" he demanded.
i looked at him. 'shoot! i told him with out thinking!' "u-uhmmm i-it's something i can't tell you now" i avoided his eyes.
"what do you mean by that!" he said angrily.
"seriously. i can't tell you now"
"is it because i kissed you in Krisha's party? is that the reason?" he asked.
"eeek!" i was so surprised that i stood up "you remembered that?!" i asked.
he stood up too "well yes of course." he patted his pants to wash away the sand. then he stopped like he suddenly realize something and he looked at me "could it be... your bothered by it?" he asked adoringly.
i avoided his eyes again but i felt my face beat root red "n-no... t-that i-is..."
"hmmmm" i didn't see his face but i'm pretty sure he was grinning "are you sure?" he came closer and closer to me while i backed away in every step he makes.
"n-no...y-yes...i i mean..."
"hooooh... could you be...." he came more closer until he near my face "could it be... youre in love with me?" he step more closer and closer.
i pushed him "YES! ALRIGHT! I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU SO JUST BACK OFF!!!!!" i shouted.
after a few seconds we were silent "hup! OMG!" i shouted "i...i ... i....."
he was standing in front of me with a shocked expression "I...I...I'M GOING TO THE TOILET!" after that i ran towards home and locked my self inside my room. i wasn't even aware that my sister was calling to eat dinner. my hungriness that night was completely gone. "I'M AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!" i shouted in the topo of my lungs.
"SHUT UP and sleep!" shouted my sister back.
that day. i couldn't sleep at all until morning...
---
"uurrggghh" i groaned as i saw my face in the mirror "oh darling budha... I LOOK LIKE A PANDA!!!" i cried in horror while holding the dark circles under my eyes. i gave up trying to make my eyes more appealing and just went off to shower. i was about to get dress when my phone rang. i looked at my phone nervously. "oh please not Iyen..." i whispered under my breath. i slowly pick up my cellphone and looked at the caller id before picking up
Elizabeth <3 calling...
i gave a sighed of relief after seeing Elizabeth's name. "hello?"
<Michi<3! i haven't talk to you for long>
i smiled. i went to sit in my bed and crossed my legs while drying my hair with my free hand "well, because every time i try to talk to you, you look like your gonna bite me."
Elizabeth giggled <well it's your fault. how would you feel if i am you, then you discovered there's actually some one i like? wouldn't you feel frustrated?>
"yeah yeah... i know the feeling alright. don't try to lecture me."
<tssk your as cold as ever. but i guess it's the reason why i fell in love with you.>
"is that so?" i laughed "isn't it because i'm handsome?"
<though i hated that narcissistic part of you> Elizabeth laugh again as i groaned.
"so? what did you call me for?" i asked while putting my shirt.
<oh, that's right. there's a party tonight in Gail's house. i need you to go. pretty please. i really need you to go there>
"Eli? what are you plotting?" i asked suspiciously.
<i swear i'm not plotting something. I-It's just that i have no car to ride to go there...>
"hmmp! that's why your nice to me suddenly. ok fine. i'll pick you 6 o'clock tonight. alright?"
<waaaai!!! thank you sooo much Michi. i love you <3 >
"hey hey, don't fall in love with me again. i'm not gonna let you in" i giggled.
<tssk! i'm hanging up!>
i smiled after i hang up. talking to Elizabeth was refreshing. i guess it wouldn't hurt if i go? was my last thought before going downstairs to help my sister.
~~~
PARTY
"da*mn, i knew i shouldn't have come! look how crowded it is! El, you know how much i hate being in over crowded places." i complained. i don't even know much about the party host, Ghail, except for the fact that she was Elizabeth's close friend in primary.
"ow com'on Michi. it's not that bad. i know you gonna enjoy it. let's go have some fun!" she gave me a peck on the lips before getting out of the car. i sighed. 'i sense trouble' was my gut telling me but i went inside anyway.
~~~
i was sitting on the corner while Elizabeth went to get our drinks. i told her I'd get it for her but she insisted to do it instead. i watched as the people around me dance like crazy animals. you can tell just by the look of their faces that they were either drunk or high on drugs. i left them alone and started think about my own problems than minding their own. i was so engrossed in my own thoughts that i didn't even feel the pair of eyes staring at me. then after a couple of minutes Elizabeth came back with two cans of beer and a nerdy looking guy tailing her.
"here" she said while handing me the can. "stand up Michi"
i didn't like her tone of voice and the way she's ordering me around so i glared at her. but she gave me a look that says "i beg you just follow me". i rolled my eyes and stood up lazily.
"Michi, meet Yoshwa, Yoshwa this is Mitchi..." i was about to hand in my hand for a handshake but Elizabeth took it instead and wrapped her hand around my arm. "...my girlfriend. So do you believe me now? i'm a lesbian and will never ever fall for a guy like you. so scram!" the guy left with a pained expression. "hmmp! what a loser." Elizabeth muttered.
i think one of the reason why i got fed up with our relationship was this. i hastily grabbed her arm so she could let go. "what was that?"
she looked at me with her puppy eyes "please Michi, don't be mad. he wouldn't stop following me and it's kindah getting annoying so i had to do something."
"El, I am not your plaything. next time if you want some one to do this kind of acting for you then call a gigolo"
"i-i'm sorry b-but i have no choice and i really do still love you, you know" Elizabeth held my right hand and squeeze it.
"i told you i ca-" before i could even finish what i was about to say, Elizabeth's mouth was on mine. I pushed her quickly as soon as i realized what she was doing. "what the hell El!"
"i-i-"
i turned my back to quickly leave with out further hearing what she wanted to say, as i nearly reached the stairs to go up so i can get out of the house, i bumped into some one.
"oof! I'm sor-" i turned pail as i saw who was infront of me. "I-Iyen" 'OMG!!!! MY HEART'S NOT READY FOR THIS!!!!! NOOOO!!!!!!' i was completely busy collecting my strength that i didn't realize the glaring stairs of Iyen.
"you shouldn't play on people like that" he said and he walked off.
"huh?!" i was left there standing dumb founded as i watched Iyen back getting further away from me. but then something very unexpected happen. Iyen wrapped around his arm to Christian's neck and kissed him intimately. i closed my eyes as a pang of pain started to creep. 'now i know what that guy felt' i thought before leaving completely.
i sat in my car quietly crying as i can't hold my tears back. the pictures of both Iyen and Christian kept playing in my head. "well what do you expect? he's gay. that's what you get when you fall in love with some one who you shouldn't to." i told my self. i turned on my car's engine and started driving. i was nearly out of Phillips family's gate when a guy blurted in front of my car. i quickly stepped on my breaks closing my eyes hoping nothing happened. i did not hear any loud thud so i opened my eyes slowly, but no one was in front my car. i nervously got out of the car. in my utter disbelief i found a guy laying on the ground.
i quickly knelled on the ground to where the guy's body lays "oh my god oh my god! what do i do!" i muttered in panic. i got out my phone and press speed dial one. "come on come on pick up!" i shouted out desperation.
<hello?>
hearing Iyen's voice made me realize that my number one speed dial was Iyen. JUST GREAT! i shouted in my inner self "h-hello I-yen please come help me now i dunt know what to do just help now Iyen"
<what happened?!> he asked worriedly.
"i don't know the gu- URRGH!" before i could even say something i looked down. the ground was full of blood "I-Iyen..." i dropped the phone and then the next thing i knew i was on the ground, lying while grasping for air.
~~~
IYEN'S P.O.V
I'm very very very much pissed off right now because what i've discovered. how could she kiss Elizabeth when she just confessed to me like one night ago? is that even right? in return for my revenge, i went to Christian and wrapped my arms around him and pretended to kiss him.
"uhmm what are you doing? i thought we're over?"
"i know. but stay like this for a moment." after a couple of minutes i finally turned my head and Mich wasn't there anymore. i sighed. 'd**n' i thought before i irritatedly sat on the couch. "dam*t!" i curse again. i sat there for a couple of minutes before i heard my phone rang. i looked at the caller id and saw Mich's face and name on it. i debated whether to answer or not. but in the end, I was still loyal to her so i pressed the 'ok' button. "hello?"
<h-hello I-yen please come help me now i don't know what to do just help now Iyen> the nervousness and the fear on Michi's voice made me stand up. Michi's voice sounded like she's in deep touble.
"what happened?!" i asked worriedly
<i don't know the gu- URRGH!>
i heard a grunt <I-Iyen...> then i heard a loud thud after "Mich? Mich?! what's happening?! MICH?!" but all i could hear was Michi's hard breathing."f*ck!" i closed my phone and ran out.
---
My heart was pounding, my mind feels like it's going to blow up. "Mich, i beg you to be safe" i said as i ran through the stairs, which felt like going on forever. i kicked the Phillip's front door. then i found Mich's car nearly out of the gate. then i saw a guy shouting.
"F*CK *** for taking my supposed to be girl friend! that wouldn't happen to you if you didn't take her away from me!!!! ha ha ha ha!!!" shouted the guy while laughing like a mad man.
"what are you doing?!" i shouted.
he looked at me surprised "f*ck!" he ran away while dropping the knife before i could even catch him. i didn't run after him, i looked for Mich instead, when i looked at the front of the car i found Mich lying there. i quickly sat beside her. "Oh my god Mich?!"
she was grasping for air "I....Iyen..."
"no... what's happening?" before i even get the answer, i came in contact with a slimy fluid near Mich's stomach. I looked at my hand "b-blood. no, no no no no!"
".....yen....."
"No Mich! stay with me!!!!!" i quickly grab my phone and called 911.
<this is->
"i-i n-need an ambulance. i-i'm in unit 34 Endevour Hills subdivition. QUICK! please! quick!" i dropped my phone and tear up my shirt. i haven't got a clue how i did it with my hands shaking. i fold the cloth and pushed it on top on Mich's wound.
"urggh! *cough* I......Yen..."
' she's coughing blood! d**n! this means her wound's near in her internal organs!' i continued to press her wounds to stop the bleeding " FU*CK! why is the ambulance taking long! da*n!" i cursed as sweat came running down my forehead.
"i...yen...." Mich tried to looked at me while holding onto my shirt. "I......i'm sorr....y" it was merely a whisper. then her hand dropped on the ground.
for a moment i was speechless when i looked at her. then tears came running out of my eyes "NO........."i hugged Mich's body. it was then that i realized she was so thin. she seemed so fragile in that moment."no no no no no no no no no!!!! Mich! don't do this to me! you idiot! don't do this to me Mich!!!!!!NO MICH I BEG YOU DON'T DO THIS TO ME. I LOVE YOU MICH. PLEASE! ARRRRGHHHH!!! NOOOOO! NOOOO! WAAAAAAAH! MICH NOOOOOOOOO!HEEEELP! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!"
i cried in agony. my desperate call for help seemed to wake every one up. the neighbors and the people on the party came running out to surround us. they were shouting but all i hear was my cry "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! ughr!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Mich!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
In that moment, i wished time would go back. If it would, i would have stopped Mich from running away from me in that park where all it began. no... not in that time, i would go back further where we first told our biggest secret, i should have told her the truth. i shouldn't have acted like a coward. right then I should have told her how much i love her... and that, i want to be with her forever. would that change what's happening now?
it would have... probably...
